seemssopleasing | open post

[ A huff, not quite a laugh, but close enough. ]

I know.

[ Pause. He chews his lip for a moment, then sighs. ]

This isn't to info dump on you, I swear, it's just. It's had some unfortunate side effects and those are the reason I haven't dated for a long time. I've tried to sort myself out first, but I'm getting to the point where I -- it'll have to get better as part of a process, I think.

[ He leans forward on his elbows a bit, waving one hand loosely to indicate Jamie, then himself. ]

I just don't want you to be that process without knowing what you could be getting yourself into. I want you to have the chance to say no.

Okay. And I'm glad you told me.

[ A brief pause. Jamie's face is an open book a lot of the the time, and right now he just looks thoughtful -- trying to put the words together before he opens his mouth. ]

It doesn't really change anything for me. I'm -- I like you a lot. I don't mind if there's... stuff to work through.

[ The words settle with him heavily, like stones, but like stones falling from his back and shoulders, his stance righting slightly and his breathing evening out. Then, he smiles, wide and open. ]

I'm glad. I like you a lot, too. I think it's a first where I've liked anyone enough to actually... pursue them. [ A purse of his lips and he finally, finally reaches over and takes Jamie's hand, by the wrist, wrapping his fingers around it, feeling his pulse point. ] I want you to know, you're special that way and I'll do my best to let it stay like that.

[ He shifts a little more forward at that touch, his hand open and relaxed. Smiles at Claude softly, a little shy. ]

Not like this is -- a comparison or anything, but I've only been involved with anyone to try and keep people from asking questions? Girls, in high school. [ He shrugs slightly, leaning his chin in his other hand. ] So, um -- it's a first for me, too.

[ Claude watches him for a long moment, head tilted to the side, expression thoughtful. Then, he lights up in a smile and shakes his head, not to mean no, but as if to say, it doesn't matter. Unimportant. ]

I'll do my best, okay? [ He releases Jamie's hand and reaches up to catch his chin between thumb and index finger before caressing his jawline softly. ] We can do our best together.

[ There's quiet nerves running through him at that pause, and it feels a little like Jamie's holding his breath for a moment. It melts off of him at Claude's smile, the worry that's been bouncing around since their text conversation dropping away once and for all. He's not sure what he'd been expecting, but this, just knowing that there might be something they have to navigate carefully -- that, he can handle.

He's fairly sure he can handle it, anyway. He's always been optimistic, especially when it comes to people. ]

Yeah. I think we can manage that. [ He's leaning into that touch, his eyes shutting for a moment just to appreciate it, before he laughs quietly. ] God, I really thought everything was just going to be, like -- unbelievably awkward now, for a little while there. I'm so glad that's not how this turned out.

I didn't get us off to the best start, sorry.

[ A laugh to match Jamie's and he slowly, slightly reluctantly withdraws his hand, fingertips tingling from touching his skin, feeling the heat of him.

Leaning back in his seat, he extends his legs beneath the table, his sock-clad feet finding Jamie's shins after a minute, folding around them childishly. He just really wanna touch him, okay. You can't blame him. ]

Do you want something to eat? I'll order for us.

[ He won't blame him, and he definitely won't stop him. Even when it's purely friendly, Jamie would generally rather be touching than not, just as a way of showing affection. Right now... well, it's kind of hard to stay on the other side of the table.

He gives Claude a bright little smile, playfully trapping one of his ankles between his own legs for a moment. ] Please. Whatever you want to get, I'm not picky.

[ The mood has settled between them, Claude feeling light inside and kind of floating. He hasn't truly been in love-love since Rainier, this relationship thing is a first for them both and that only makes it feel better somehow.

Waving one hand slightly, showing that he doesn't particularly care either, there are things he's rather do right now than eat, he fishes out his phone from his pocket and goes to order something they can eat easily when it arrives. ]

There's a West African restaurant that delivers just down the street, their thiéboudienne is good. Fish in tomato paste and lots of spices.

[ Wriggling his ankle slightly, he starts tapping the order in on his phone, saying - because he gets the feeling that Jamie is the type to need reassurance for these things. ]

Let me know if you're not a fan of fish.

[ He just watches Claude as his attention shifts to his phone, his expression soft and open. Appreciating the chance to study him openly. Not that he's avoided it before, exactly, but it feels all new, somehow. Like the ways things have shifted between them should be tangible. ]

No, that sounds pretty good. I like trying new stuff.

[ And like most broke college students, he'll pretty much eat whatever anyone puts in front of him.

He doesn't want to make Claude uncomfortable by staring, and Jamie shifts after a few moments, glancing around, taking more of the area in. Leans back to stretch, asking with idle curiosity: ] How big is this place? It looks comfortable.

[ Sending off the order first, Claude looks up and follows Jamie's gaze around the place, appreciating the chance to get to see it through other eyes than his own. You can get used to a lot of things, especially things you shouldn't take for granted, so this is a nice chance to see his big kitchen with its appliances and the look into the living room, wide, big window panel with a view of the city's upper levels from a new angle. ]

Two bedrooms, one which I use for office, a pretty spacey bathroom and the living room - as well as in here. [ He puts his phone down and gestures to the kitchen. ] Big by your usual city standards, bigger than my Paris place, too, though I pay my own rent in France, of course. This is paid by the party while I do my work over here. You want to have a look? I can show you around.

[ Waiting with getting up until Jamie has confirmed he wants to, Claude remains seated and looks back at the other man, cocking his head to one side, openly. Whatever you want, it means. We'll do. ]

I thought it'd be more hotel-like, for some reason. One of those budget stays with the tiny kitchen that you can barely boil water in.

[Said with a little laugh. He's well aware his expectations are probably pretty skewed from Claude's reality in a lot of areas, at least partly because he is extremely American, and not very well-studied about other places. But at least it doesn't seem to get in the way where it's important. And Jamie's always open to being corrected, learning something new.

He pushes back from the table, walks around it to offer his hand out to Claude with a warm smile.] Come on, show me around, and then we can sit down somewhere more comfortable. [Said with absolutely no suggestiveness in it. He'd be happy to just hang out on the couch for a while -- he figures they'll work it out one step at a time.]

To be honest, Jamie, I'd probably have preferred it to be. This is really spending above spending. I could've survived with less and the money could've been spent on more important things than -- [ Getting to his feet, he points towards the top-notch coffee maker with, like, ten different settings and a built-in foamer. ] -- my daily caffe lattes, you know?

[ But then, Jamie says, come on, and holds out his hand so Claude crosses over, moving around the table and takes his hand easily, interlacing their fingers before more or less dragging him into the living room in a way that says, but now that you're here and the apartment is here, let's make use of it. The window panels are big and let out all the light of the city, multi-coloured and blinking, it's recently rained which crystallizes the light as well, fractures it somehow. It's all very pretty. Claude lifts Jamie's hand to his lips, kissing his knuckles lightly before continuing, completely naturally, ]

Okay. Living room. I do online zumba classes in here when I can't make it to them gym. Just... You gotta move the table and the sofa a bit.

[ He smiles a bit sheepishly. If you'll call zumba dancing, he still dances a little bit. A tiny little bit. ]

[Claude's hand is warm in his, and that little gesture is slightly distracting distracting. Jamie's expression is downright smitten, and he makes himself look away after a few moments to actually get a look around.]

Oh, yeah, that'd work pretty well. Surprised there's not some kinda home gym they pushed on you. [He grins, drifting slightly towards the windows to check out the view, never letting go of Claude's hand.]

[ Claude follows him, looking out the windows, the view gorgeous. Grinning, he shrugs one shoulder and comments: ]

Politicians aren't known to be fit, I guess must be the implication.

[ Giving the other man's hand a slight pull, he steps up to him and looks at him with his head tilted, a small frown on his face. It's part if it, how he doesn't just lean in to kiss him, but rather hesitates a moment and then, simply, asks: ]

Would you mind if I kissed you?

[ All of the city at their feet, basically. ]

[ The view is fantastic -- maybe the best he's ever seen. It's still not hard for Claude to steal his attention away, and he turns towards him at that little pull, quiet and open. Jamie doesn't mind the hesitation, just watches him. ]

No. I'd like that.

[ The answer is quick, and he seems mostly unashamed about his own eagerness, smiling softly. Jamie ducks in closer, his hand settling lightly at Claude's side, but he doesn't fully close the distance between them. He'll let the other man lead, set the tone. ]

[ It was good, the other night. It was good and he doesn't regret it, but he wants to be close to Jamie again in a different context, where alcohol and adrenaline, nerves and newness doesn't have to play as big a part of it. This is what he wants.

This. This moment.

Leaning in, he reaches up and presses his hand softly to Jamie's upper arm, feeling the muscle there, the strength. Softness comes in a lot of different packages, and besides - strength isn't just one thing.

Then, he kisses him. Softly, on the mouth, head at an angle to avoid nose-bumping and just to welcome the way they slide into place against each other. ]

[ It's soft. Gentle -- the touch, the slide of Claude's mouth against his. It's not something Jamie's all that used to. Most of his experience has been brief and drunken, taking advantage of a chance to be touched for a little while because he gets lonely, and ignoring the fact that it never quite scratches the itch.

Claude's not like that. The other night wasn't like that, even, that empty feeling of being close to somebody without really feeling close. It had been good.

This is still better.

Jamie kisses him sweetly; not careful, exactly, but he matches that softness. In the way he touches, too, a hand coming up to cup Claude's cheek gently. He's always trusted his body to speak for him more than his words, and he touches Claude like he's trying to say I like this and I care for you all in one. ]

[ Jamie has a body that speaks for him, the carefulness of his touch, of the way their lips press together, the gentleness of the slide. Claude appreciates that, he appreciates the way they can meet in this, even if they come from vastly different paths in life.

Claude always believed in all things being able to rise above class, divisions, anything like that.

Slipping his hand up to Jamie's neck, the back of it, just folding his fingers there and holding him, he deepens the kiss without force, just a slight parting of his own lips, inviting the other man inside if he wants. ]

[ He isn't impatient, but he's eager, and not in any way trying to hide it. The invitation is met almost immediately, licking gently into Claude's mouth, almost testing. It all still feels new; even discounting the haze of alcohol, once wasn't nearly enough to try everything he wants to, to map out Claude's reactions and figure out what makes him feel good.

The touching is curious, too -- fingers soft against the line of his jaw, Jamie's other hand skimming up the line of his back, feeling the shape of him. There's a little curve to his lips even as he keeps kissing him, too happy to keep from smiling. ]

[ Feeling the smile, it's like a slight pressure against his mouth, Claude angles his head slightly and pushes back as Jamie licks into him, meeting him, not taking, meeting. Halfway. He tastes like he feels, soft and warm, little darker than you might expect. It's good. It's very good.

His arm comes up around his waist, pulling him in against him slightly, carefully, their bodies aligned from thighs to faces, mouths and Claude loves it, he loves the feeling of him. His fingers slide up into Jamie's hair, following the curve of his skull, feeling the way the strands slip between his fingers.

He's very present. Claude isn't used to presence, he's used to either leaving or being left. ]

[ It feels as natural as breathing to melt into the way Claude pulls him in, pressing carefully close. There's a little hum, low and pleased in the back of Jamie's throat, his arm tightening around Claude slightly. Warm and responsive.

He wears his delight on his sleeve, the way he wears most of his emotions. Present is a good word for it -- he's fully in the moment, very little being held back. ]

I like this better without the drinks. [ It's a giddy little murmur, between one kiss and dipping in for the next. ]

[ Me too, he wants to reply, but he's too busy catching Jamie's initiative and countering with his own. Meeting, halfway, equally. He likes that, he likes that subtracting the alcohol only makes it better. More alive, somehow, less a stupor more a want.

Feeling just the tiniest bit out of breath at this point, Claude is smiling as well, making a low hum of enjoyment near the back of his throat. After a moment, almost reluctantly, though, he lets go of Jamie, pulling out of the kiss, lips tingling and breath slightly shallow. ]

I like the fact that I'll remember this a long time to come.

Me too.

[ Last time is a blur of moments and sensations -- he can't even quite remember how it started, that first kiss. This is a lot better. A proper first.

It takes him a moment to stop watching Claude's mouth, his expression soft and eager in equal measures, but he reaches for his hand after with a grin. ] Come on, you've still got a few rooms to show me.

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